aila's birthday surprise

ang nangyari is pumunta pa rin ako. package pala talaga ginawa nila jemie. 17 people pero mga 13 lang pumunta. ang dami pang bakante. it was fun. those were the moments when you will say to yourself that it is fun to be a child. wala lang basta masaya lang kayo. tawanan sa mga gawaing bata. games.

eh iyong mga kasama ko pa super mga isip-bata, mga patawa. sa totoo masaya sila kasama, hindi nga lang ako close sa kanila. :\

i had fun. super thanks sa invite jemie and friends! happy birthday to ailaness!

bye august!

happy birthday to ailaness! sa totoo hindi kami masyado close. siguro kung lokohan o harutan, pwede pa. ayun lang. tapos kahapon, ininvite ako ni jemie para sa birthday surprise nila kay aila. napa-"wah!" ako. nakakatuwa kasi iniisip ni jemie na close kami ni aila. nakakatuwa lang isipin na ganun pala ang iniisip nila. eh hindi ko ngayon alam kung pupunta ako o hindi. hindi ko kasi kaclose iyong barkada nila. like i said, sa kalokohan o harutan pwede pa. pero iyong close na bonded? no. :\

ayan. ito na iyong feeling na andaming time, sana nag-aral ako. wahay. sana mataas makuha namin lahat. kayo na po bahala God. please, kayo na po talaga bahala.

what if i'm indifferent?

that would be great. i wanted to be indifferent although sometimes i am, somewhat autistic. i think of crazy things. yes. that may be considered as indifferent.

and another proof is that i blog 3 times today. wah! i should be in front of our kitchen table or in my bed studying. but no, i'm not doing that. and tomorrow i will regret that i didn't study because the test is easy. darn! i super hate that feeling.

blink had new updates a while ago. so i was inspired to write the 3rd blog entry. i really wished that i can have the brains and the talents. and i want to be hardworking [more please]. and i don't want to be so lazy. i want to be competitive. wahay. inggit na naman ako. haha.

matatanda ang mga nakakikita

nainspire lang ako gumawa ng blog entry ngayon ulit. ngayon ako sinipag na gawin ang entry na ito. kasi nung practicals, si rj unang nagdrama [nasa labas kami ng lab 10 laboratory kung saan kita mo ang likod mga lugar sa likod ng main building kasi 4th floor].

rj: bas, nakikita mo iyong punong yan? nakita niya lahat ng pagtayo ng mga building sa ust. [admitted ko naman na tama siya kasi super taas niya talaga.]
bass: nakikita mo iyong microscope na ginagamit natin sa practicals? nakita na nila ang lahat ng mga paghihirap ng mga estudyante para lamang makapasa sa mga practicals.
rj: nakikita mo iyong arch of the centuries? lahat ng mga estudyanteng lumabas at pumasok, nakita na nila.
bass: nakita mo iyong bagong library? nakita na niya lahat ng pagbabagong ginawa sa kanya - ang mga lumang sections, pag-aaircon sa kanya at pagpapaayos.

haha. we talked nonsense no? missense. ganyan ata kami kasabaw nung mga panahong iyon. torture kasi sa part namin na kami iyong lower half. kami lagi pangalawa na nagppracticals. kami laging huli. maganda sana ito kung hindi ka pa masyadong nag-aaral kaso major major torture pa rin sa paghihintay. ayun lang.

ang tanda na nga pala talaga ng ust. kaya isa ito sa mga dahilang. Proud kong masasabi na isa akong DUGONG TOMASINO. naks, patronizing my own univeristy.

monday morning

rain is falling. joke lang. it is not raining, it is sunny nga eh.

nakakatuwa. ang saya ko ngayon. ang light-headed, light ng pakiramdam ko ngayon. parang ang sarap mag-aral pero wala pa ako sa mood. wala pang pressure. iyong pressure na tipong 2 hours na lang 12 na at bukas 8:30am ang exam mo. at dahil dun magrrush ka. konti ngayon papasok sa utak mo. kaboom ka! pero nagbabasa ako ng libro kanina, natutuwa ako sa mga natutunan ko sa bacte. :)

i'm so happy. wala naman ako crush. o kung ano mang kalandian sa buhay. haha.

100th post

ang aking ika-100 post. isang emo na post kasi naisip ko lang mag-emo ngayon.

feeling ko ang left out ko na. feeling ko marami na akong bagay na napapabayaan and naneneglect. super dami nang mga bagay ang nawala sa akin. para bang medyo nagiging iresponsable pa ako lalo habang ako ay tumatanda. hindi ito usapang acads pero usapang mga kaibigan. haha. ang loser ko talaga.

sana pwedeng bumalik sa dati ang lahat. basta feeling ko ang lonely ng buhay ko. :\

nagmamalaki e wala rin naman binatbat

para sa sarili ko na after the very easy yet hard quiz in clinical chemistry lab ay sinabi ko na bakit pa nila iniisip iyong quiz e tapos na. tapos magssink-in lang pala sa akin na ang dami kong mali sa quiz nung pababa na kami ng main building.

medyo down ako kasi ang dali talag ng quiz eh, hindi lang tama inaral namin. puro tanong iyong mga tanong. hindi man lang mga reactions o kung ano man. expect the unexpected ika nga nila. nakakalungkot lang talaga. sa parasitology at clin chem ako bababa ngayong prelims. :\

cge bukas naman, aral na ng recitation for clin chem, quiz sa hema lec at lab, biostat quiz at scl quiz. yan ang sinasabi kong bonggang araw.

second favorite student na raw ako ni ma'am shallani. hahaha. less bullied na ako.

wake me up

mukhang gusto ko ang ganitong study lifestyle para sa buhay ko. matulog pagkadating sa eskwela at gumising ng madaling araw. parang ang fresh mag-isip ng utak mo kaysa naman sa nag-aaral ka nga hanggang madaling araw pero bangag utak mo at hindi nakakapag-isip ng tama.

maraming salamat talaga kay diko at ginising niya ako ng alas dose ng gabi. kung hindi, mamatay na naman ako mamaya. medyo may pagkabangag pa ako hanggang ngayon pero i'm sure efficiently working na utak ko.

kung patuloy kong gagawin ang pagtulog-gising ko ng ganitong oras, maaaring maging ganito na ang aking body clock.

nainspire lang kasi talaga ako sa pagbasa ulit ng mga posts ni blink. hindi ko alam pero natutuwa ako sa kanya kahit hindi kami magkakilala. ewan basta parang pareho kami ng pag-iisip pero ang katotohanan ay di hamak na mas matalino, at talented siya.

so magkwento ulit ako. about sa bacteriology lab practicals. madali siya, i swear. di hamak na mas madali siya kaysa sa parasitology lab practicals na super time pressured plus the fact na ang microscope mo ay walang pointer o lagpas iyong pointer iyong dapat tinuturo. plus the fact na magulo mga tanong, pabago-bago kung common o scientific name ba dapat isulat. going back sa bacteriology, medyo masaya siya talaga. ang problema lang is hindi ako naglaan ng mas maraming oras para makapag-aral. nakakadisappoint lang talaga.

hindi na rin pala ako favorite student ni ma'am shallani. dahil ito sa isang picture edited ng isa kong kaklase, si clasm8 A. iyong pic kasi mukhang parang may namatayan. basta as in medyo ganun iyong itsura. eh si clasm8 B nagcomment ng 'condolenece'. edi bully na siya sa fb. nakatag si ma'am nito ah. ayun siya na ang bully parati. mababawasan na siguro ang load ng bullying ni ma'am sa akin.

nag-usap kami ng classmate ko sa ym.
ojay: nag-aaral ka kasi pressured ka sa mga kapatid mo, kasi bunso ka at kailangan mo silang mahigitan.
bass: hindi ako ganun. walang pressure sa akin dahil bunso ako. hindi ako pinepressure ng magulang ko. kaya ako nag-aaral kasi "gus2 ko lang maging matinong estudyante. maging normal na estudyante."

wala lang napaisip lang ako na ganun pala ako mag-isip kung bakit ako talaga nag-aaral. partly na gusto ko mamaintain iyong dl status ko. kasi ansarap lang ng feeling na nakikita mo iyong name mo sa board at dun ay nagkakaroon ka ng rush[haha] para pagbutihan at strive harder pa.

medyo dumadaldal na ako ngayon. bukas makakakita ka ulit ng mga hinanaing ko. cguro. cge aral na. natutuwa ako ngayon. fresh utak ko.

*note: habang nagsusulat ako ng blog entry, biglang tumunog ang aking cellphone alarm clock. sila ang 5 na natatangi at pinakaespesyal na alarm clock sa buhay ko. sila ang kasama ko nung una akong nag-ustet, sila kasama ko nung nasa high school pa ako at kailangan gumising ng 6:15am, sila kasama ko sa college life ko. napakaespesyal talaga nila. kahit na minsan ay hindi ko sila pinapansin at tutulugan at papatayin ko silang lahat para makatulog ako ng mahimbing. at pagkagising ay sila ang sisihin kung bakit hindi sila tumunog. ayun drama ko. pero mahal ko ang aking mga alarm clocks

i am me but i don't know me.

i am myself but i just don't know myself too much or maybe i don't mind myself. i tend to don't care about things. i don't care if i would learn or not as long as i can do what i want. as long as i can be as comfortable as i can be. as long as i am not having hard times in life.

maybe i'm like the one who just stay below the rabbit's fur in the sophie's world. live a life where i would care on how to live comfortably.

i realized this some times ago but today i realized that i don't have things for myself. it is like my life is not productive, lively. i envy those people who know themselves well. i really envy those people that have natural talents. i envy those people who knows too much in life. i envy them so much. :\

this week is a very fun one. tiring yes. we have quizzes-practicals-activities everyday. and tomorrow, we will have quiz in clinical chemistry lab. experiments 1-6, appendices A.B.C. and the glasswares. goodluck world! kain lang ako. :)

better days.

today is a better day than yesterday. even though para lec and lab activities are hard.

i was nagisa in front of the class a while ago in bacteriology. sabi ko sa sarili ko 'shet, ano gagawin ko.' it a once in a lifetime experience. binigyan kasi kami ni ma'am ng second chance na makapgreport pero now is siya magtatanong kami sasagot. so kaboom! ako ang hindi pa nagsasalita. wala akong handouts na dala, naiwan ko. sana nakapagbasa man lang ako. i'm so deds. pero in the end natapos naman with the help of mon.

sabi nila parang ako raw iyong tipong may alam talaga ng report pero in fact, i really don't know. basta medyo masaya lang kasi parang good naman ata iyong feedback [sana].

tapos iyong biostat na quiz kanina, dun lang ako nagkaroon ng mga sure na answer. napawow ako. madali siya pero may mga katangahan lang ako na ginawa.

so got to go na ulit. bukas ay bacteriology lab practicals naman at pd quiz. goodluck to me. ngayon, hindi na pwedeng tulugan ang mga aaralin. :)) goodnight. isleptyesternight for 7 hours. :)

sabon day

today is the day i die. i will die tomorrow too.

nasabon kasi kami sa report namin sa bacteriology, we're at fault din naman kasi hindi naman namin pinag-usapan kung paano gagawin. ayun, that's why it is sabon day. 10% daw iyon ng pinakagrade namin. that's super fu**ing awesome! so thinking logically, we're 0% already. edi 90 na lang grade mo, eh may mga quizzes at exams ka pa na bagsak. goodbye world!

maliligo na ako since galing kami sa lab 10. nag-uwi na ako ng mga bacteria. hehe. tapos. tapos. tapos.

biostat quiz + parasitology lab pracs + parasitology lec quiz +imbacteriology lec quiz. have fun studying!

BIOSTATbagsak

50/100 and passing ay 60. yes. wala nang pag-asa, actually meron kung pagbutihan ko prelims at finals. hindi maawa sa akin si ma'am nito. i swear. ayun, i'm rushing things for tomorrow's works. commercial lang.

biostat na nga lang bagsak pa. mas mahirap ka pa sa majors eh. :|

sa isang busy na weekend, busy na week, at busy na susunod sa next week.

hindi pa masyado gumagana utak ko para mag-aral. napakarami pala naming gagawin for next week, as in marami.

-bacteriology lec quiz and lab practicals
-parasitology lec quiz and lab practicals
-clinical chemistry lab quiz
-mtlb floor plan. dito ko parang naiisip na gusto ko ng arki. nag-enjoy ako gumawa ng floor plan ng primary laboratory namin. pero hindi pa tapos, gagawa pa lang ako mamaya.
-hematology lec quiz sa friday after idiscussed iyong topic sa wednesday at hematology lab quiz.
-professional deontology quiz.
-may report pa pala akong dapat gawin, ay article pala para sa purple gazette.

at dahil bongga sa dami ang aming gagawin, kailangan magtino ngayong week. at sa susunod na week kasi prelims na namin. 2 exams na lang after nun! weee!

nagiging isip bata na naman ako. tapos kahapon may late birthday surprise kami kay ma'am pineda. grabe sa pangttrip si ma'am. iyong tipong may talent o kaya ay may lakas talaga ng loob ang mga nagperform. gusto ko magperform pero wala akong kapal ng mukha para gawin ang mga bagay na ginawa nila. kasi ako ata ang "favorite" student niya sa section namin dahil sa mga nangyari nung 1st week of classes. hahaha. basta grabe mangtrip. isa iyon sa mga nakakahiyang pangyayari sa buhay ko. :))

nakapag-WBC count na pala kami tapos nakabili ako ng isang red thoma pipet kaso ginto eh, no choice kailangan kong bumili. :|

ayun start na! in 5.4.3.2.1.0. bye

hema day

actually every friday is a not so productive day, isama mo na rin ang thursday. we are not loaded with subjects during these 2 days. and today is friday so...

i haven't studied for the hema lab quiz.
i purposedly or maybe accidently broke my thoma red pipet while practicing how to aspirate rbc and do the dilution factor. i don't know why they say it's hard but i think i did fine naman yesternight. maybe i just don't know how to do it properly.

yesternight, i and ate went to joy's house. to talk, to chat, to bond, to eat, to sleep. haha. joy gave me a delost microbiology book, which i already have, and a concise manual for clinical laboratory science students or commonly known as medical technologist students. ayun, it is really helpful because it contains almost all of the things to be studied in all major subjects. it is like putting all our major subjects into a 200+ page-book. and ate lend me her clinical microbiology make ridiculously simple. and yes it is simple. i just want to share that i want to get high grades in bacteriology because it is really fun studying them.

and i learned from them, since they are clerks that hematology is really helpful in med. and that joy said that i should retain and understand what i'm learning now since IF i pursue medicine, it will be less little harder. in our 3rd year we have - bacteriology, mycology and virology, parasitology, hematology, clinical chemistry, blood banking, and immunology and serology. seeing them makes me excited to stude. *ack!*

and i have a not-so-unusual-new, i got 13/50 again on my biostat quiz. uh-oh. that is super dangerous, i might fail. i hope that i can get a higher than 25 next quiz. i just don't know how to study them. it is sad. :|

okay, i'm gonna go na. i will study pa and problematize how to buy a red thoma pipet for later's practicals. haha.

congratulations to the University of Santo Tomas Faculty of Medicine and Surgery for having a 99% passing rate and many made it to the top ten. seeing their achievements makes me want to pursue medicine even more that's the original plan naman talaga why i studied medtech.

caffeine intolerant

medyo matagal ko na atang alam na walang epekto sa akin ang mga kape, energy drink o kung ano pa mang pangpahyper yan. hindi siya maganda, kasi ngayon hindi ko na kaya mag-aral habang nasa kama na dati ay nagagawa ko. basta inaantok na ako everytime nagbabasa ako sa kama plus the fact na aircon ang room. *zzZz*

ngayon ko na lang ata ginawa ang mag-aral sa table. pinipilit ko kaso hindi talaga kaya ng utak ko. hindi ko kayang magmemorize. wala man lang ako kausap o kachat. ang loner ko naman. marahil ay mahimbing na ang tulog ng aking mga kaklase samantalang ako, ito nagpapakapuyat without knowing kung papasa ba ako o hindi. pero kailangan ko talagang mag-aral ngayon eh, 3 exams namin. yes. bacteriology lec, parasitology lec at lab.

so ayun, labas lang ulit ng ka-emohan. pero sa totoo lang, maghahanap sana ako ng handouts sa para eh. :) cge goodnight sa'yo!

i need pressure

cathy and i share the same sentiments. we need pressure to study, well just this time i need pressure. but don't give me pressure while studying bacteriology because i'm gonna die.

it is a coincidence that we met at the bus a while ago. it was the first time seeing her after months, i think. we talked about things, med, and acads. among us jabviccck, we both sare the same sentiments[redundant. haha] because our courses are completely different but somewhat related like the subjects we are taking. ayun. it was really fun talking and bonding with her. :)

so now, i need pressure. i need focus. i need determination.

i'm promoting that you should read the manga of xxxholic. it's not porn but it is an anime. it is inspiring kasi. this is where i learned that "there is no coincidence in this world, there is only the inevitable." so basically what i said from the start of my post is not correct. everything is planned.

*bow*

busy-sunday

when in fact, i'm not yet pressured with the things i need to study. :)

and here i am done with memorizing code of ethics and medtech's prayer. goodluck naman sa napakahirap na exam ni ma'am hapan bukas.

and here i am about to study carbohydrates for clinical chemistry. i'm having fun studying this ata since this is a disease i will have in the near future. hello diabetic mom and diabetic dad. hello unhealthy lifestyle for me. hello non-insulin dependent diabetes mellitus.

too bad that blink hasn't yet updated his blog. too sad. i just want to read posts. :)

dear john

please study na.

but i'm not in the mood.

why?

because i don't know where to start and if i know where, i couldn't.

why?

mtlb is a pain in the ass for having a quiz which requires you to memorize R.A. 5527 ad verbatim. it's 32 sections kaya! i can still endure to memorize medtech's prayer and code of ethics but the different sections, no! but then, i will just read.

clinical chemistry is really a very fun subject especially the laboratory. this is the subject that when you study you will really pass. :)

it's just that bacteriology is too hard for me. when it comes to this subject, i don't know what to study, and memorize. it is driving me crazy. i love bacte but i just don't know where to start. my monthly grade is a failure. it is a 5-unit subject. kaboom! i need to study harder for prelims. wuhuhu. and i need to study my report for monday.

biostat is a more pain in the ass. this is the subject where i'm the most stupid student in our section. i got the lowest grades for my quiz and exam. poor me! but i'm trying to understand each alien language when ma'am discussed probability. wth!

parasitology is, i think, my favorite major. it is fun to study parasites and makes you paranoid when you experience some of the symptoms for a sepcific parasite. hello Enterobius vermicularis.

you write a lot.

yes i do. i vomit useless words. i talk nonsense. i talk about acads most of the time. i'm a nerd. i need to relax. i need to detoxify. i want not to be stressed. but i like to study my majors, they are all fun.

okay. goodnight. study ka na.

friday the 13th. unlucky? nahhh.

people believe that friday the 13th is an unlucky day. for me, not all the time. everyday may be your lucky or unlucky day so it depends on the situation. for instance, we were not scolded by our professor in the hematology lab, which is a good thing. but i was disappointed on my quiz in hema lec. 17 is still a high grade but those 3 mistakes were careless ones. i just hate it when that something happen to you. it is a good thing that i studied just this morning and not last night. :|

so that's the end of my week. weekend na bukas. jackpot ang quizzes at reporting namin sa monday. wish me luck!

to someone and helen - i don't know who you are but thanks for visiting my blog. :)

note: i just spent 500 pesos this week. an achievement indeed. and i ate at greenwich with pat and hito. pat treated me. :p

a melancholic-phlegmatic person

i think this is the fad nowadays. in our marriage and family class, we discussed the four temperaments which are sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic and melancholic. each has its own characteristics and uniqueness. it is somehow fun learning these kinds of things even though we're having some hard time studying 'kuno' for our major subjects. and i'm a combination of melancholic and phlegmatic.

now, i'm going to write about random shits.

first. we were eating and bonding in greenwich ust. then there was this conversation about my kuya and diko. i told my friends that diko is the most handsome among us three and that i'm not close with my diko. and my friend A told me that 'kaya pala kayo hindi close?' there is an indirect mockery here people. i just hate those moments or people who do that. it is ok sana if you're the most beautiful person in the world. the hottest, maybe. sana lang talaga. but since she's my friend, it is okay naman. there is a tolerance limit. :)

second. during our antimicrobial susceptibility testing in bacteriology lab, i misplaced my antimicrobial disks which means there might be some errors. i think about it from monday night until wednesday. then there came wednesday and it turned out to be alright. thank God!

third. again, in bacteriology lab. different groups were assigned to prepare different culture media. group 7, our group, was assigned to make mannitol-salt agar. my partner was dan. hehe. i think i'm not really skillful in doing these kinds of things. i really get frustrated or nervous or 'natataranta' during experiments. i just don't know why. i rushed things. we did a great job naman ata. MSA is color red. bloody red. haha.

fourth. since i'm too tired to blog last night so i slept. yesterday was a beautiful day. it is as if i enjoyed my day. i just realized that no matter how ugly or unlucky your experiences are if you think that those are just nothing, you'll still feel happy. i think i'm learning to smile na. haha. naturally wah.

fifth. i'm going to study harder pa.

breathe. renew. flow. spark

renew. change.

breathe in. relax.

flow continuously. flow as if you've never flow before.

and suddenly you spark. incinerate.

kill kill kill

hindi naman sa nakakamatay o nakakapagod ang mga report na nagawa ko. sadyang masstress ka lang talaga sa kagroupmates mo. ilimit pa natin, sa kaibigan mo na kagrupo mo pa. mahirap talagang maging magsipag-sipagan. sana ginawa niya para naman tulog na ako ngayon at hindi nagbblog kaso hindi eh, gising na gising pa ako at nagbblog. medyo nakakahyper din naman pala ang pagpupuyat. bukas puyat ako. at dahil scorpio ako, gaganti at gaganti ako sa aking kaibigan. :] *bow*

tulugan na ng less than 4 hours. isama mo pa kinabukasan na lahat ng subjects mo ay may quiz. goodluck to me!

just believe

just believe that God will do something for you. nakakatuwa lang kasi may kagroup ako sa imbacteriology. kagroup ko sa reporting. hindi ito ang kinakagalit ko kanina, biostat iyon. going back, aquino, m.c name niya. he is an irreg student. hindi ko tinitira ang pagka-irreg niya pero naging inspirasyon pa nga iyon sa akin eh. kanina lang. hahaha. nung nagbigay siya ng report kay mon, mapapamura ka talaga kapag nakita mo.

summarized niya ang buong chapter 15. hindi ko alam kung nagsipagsipagan lang siya or wala siyang magawa o ano. pero napakakumpleto niya. kung ano iyong nasa book, iyon talaga. pero sino ba namang estudyante ang gagawa nun? sino sa 3d ang gagawa nun? kahit na si jemie ang pinakamasipag, tingin ko hindi niya gagawin iyon eh. okay paulit-ulit na lang.

napagaan nung gawa niya ang loob ko kanina. parang no worries na ang aking puso. drama. pero super thank you aquino, m.c!

just believe that God will do something for you. :]

hello group

i think it is better for research proposal or group work to be an individual work or a three-man team. that would be the most efficient way in order to finish the work fast. because having a group with 9-10 members would just render most of the members to be dependent on the other groupmates. it's hard to be the one being depended on. and i could also say that it's hard to be the one who cares for the group. i hate caring. maybe i think i will, one time, don't care anymore to see what will they do if i do that. oh and what's worse is a groupmate who promises to do the editing and now, where is he? *poof* nowhere to be seen. tapos magrereklamo ka? ampota! nakakaganglaiti lang eh! bad words emitted. i think this post will be for my anger management. i just can't say it in front of him for the mere reason that he's my friend. wow! friendship nga naman.

it is better sana if your groupmates are all reliable and cares for the group. sana andun na lang ako sa group na iyon. wahay. i hope in my thesis I and II, my thesismates would care for the group. so that would make our thesis a caring one. haha. chos.

the hard thing pa is that since i'm really pissed off! my mom experiences it. i hate being like that to my mom. but i'm just not the person who can control my emotions, oh i can control my emotions but being angry is a different thing. i could say those !@#$%^&*()?!?!?!?!

okay lang sana kung ako ay isang napakatalino, nakapaintelehente, napakadalubhasa, napakagaling sa researches. kaso hindi eh. average lang ako. may limitasyon upang makagawa ng something productive and acceptable sa mata ng isang professor.

okay i will go na. to start working. to start studying although our quizzes are all scheduled on a tuesday. i'm starting to calm down na. :)

imbacteriology

imba iyong prof namin sa bacte lec. haha. masipag kami kasi nagnonotes kami tuwing lecture kasi imba talaga ang bacte. habang tinitignan ko iyong pinahiram na book sa akin ni ate camille, aba! nakita ko ang mga lectures namin word per word. huwaw talaga! kaya ngayon imbacteriology. sana man lang magaling nagtuturo sa amin. actually aakalain mong magaling siya pero kung makita mo lang mga tinuturo niya sa amin, nasa libro lahat. that's nice.

i'll be there for you

at dahil bangag na ako dahil 11 mahigit na, sabaw post ulit. mas mahirap pa gumawa ng chapter outline kaysa mag-aral. i swear. inubos lahat ng oras ko kaya ngayon, inaantok na ako. hehehe.

sana may pwede rin akong sabihan ng i'll be there for you kasi medyo nakakainggit lang ang mga taong mayroon. bakit ba naman kasi nagkukulang ako sa hormone para magkagusto sa mga babae eh. iyong tipong, kung magkagusto man ako tipong sobrang naiinspire ako pero kung walang mangyari, wala na. it will slowly fade away. katulad na lang nung friend ko sa ceu. tsktsk. hindi ko alam basta ang alam ko hindi normal ang ganito. hindi normal ang hindi magkagusto sa isang tao. kahit konti talaga, as in wala. parang sana binuhay na lang akong malandi, babaero or pwedeng hindi torpe. nyay!

masaya naman maging single eh. single since birth. so ako ay isang no girlfriend since birth. medyo nakakalungkot siya pero marami rin naman goodside ang pagiging single. 1) sa'yo lahat ng oras mo. 2) pwede mo gawin lahat ng gusto mo, hindi mo na kailangan magpaalam kung ano gagawin mo pwera na lang kung strict magulang mo. 3) hindi mauubos pera mo sa pangdate.
kaso ang pangit nga lang 1) lonely ng buhay mo kasi wala ka man lang ka-iloveyouhan. haha. yuck cheesy!

so ayun, sa post ko ngayon. aminado naman akong naiinggit ako pero hindi naman gaano. hindi lang talaga ako nasstruck na magkagusto. pwedeng magandahan o makyutan pero hindi pa pagkagusto iyon eh. i just want to be normal.

i just want somebody say to me or me saying it to her. "i'll be there for you."

goodnight! tulugan na.

happy birthday to bhes

we're not actually bestfriends, it just a nick. i'm an introvert, i don't even have a bestfriend. i just wanted to greet you a happy birthday! hahahaha. sorry for not being a good friend. :|

naruto is really fucking awesome! :)

downfall

this is really not my day. that' s a sad thing for me. i'm a jinx. i had practicals for viewing the gram stain twice and *poof* no focus. hehehe. but now, i think i know my mistakes. 1) i let my emotions overwhelm me. 2) i'm stupid for not adjusting the coarse adjustment knob. 3) it's just not my day. 4) lastly, i'm plainly stupid.

i really don't mind getting low grades because i often get them. it is just that, i want to be competitive right? how come that i get failing grades now? maybe i lack determination and will power and the strive to do better.

another theory for my bad day. i'm being somewhat mean to my friends. and maybe, this is my karma. good for me. nyay!

have a break. have a kitkat.

nimble feeble numb

chos lang iyong title. haha. may isang maganda at isang pangit akong balita para sa blog ko.

unahin na muna natin ang maganda - naka 77 ako sa parasitology exam. huwaw! nakakamangha lang kasi na iyon ang highest exam ko sa monthly. although relatively, madali siya pero mahirap paniwalaan. hehe. kaya dapat pang pagbutihan.

iyong panget na balita naman, sa biostat puro bagsak ang aking mga grades. isang DUPLICATE na grade sa assignment, 13/50 na quiz at 22/50 na monthly exam. yan ang WTF?! naawa ako sa sarili ko nung makita ko iyong mga grades ko. partially grade coscious ako pero hindi naman sobra. ayoko lang kasi nung ganung grade. sa physics ko lang nakukuha iyong mga grades na yan dati. kaya ang goal ko ngayon is mabawi ang mga pagkukulang ko upang mag-aral sa biostat. your help is greatly appreciated for my feeble mind. :D

petiks mode pa rin kami ngayon. ni walang masyadong ginagawa. siguro nagccharge lang sila para isang bagsakan, kaboom! hehe.

mediartrix family

okay medyo mahirap mag-update ng dalawang blog pero masyado na ata akong napamahal sa blog ko na 'to dahil gusto ko pa rin siyang buhayin.

ngayon araw ay isang magandang araw. kalimutan na mali pala ang nabigay na slide sa akin sa practicals sa micro lab. kalimutan na hindi naman napansin ni ma'am na mali ang nagamit ko pero nafocus at nasagutan ko naman iyong practicals. kalimutan na walang ginawa sa buong araw kung hindi discussion lang. kalimutan na rin na mukha akong militar sa buhok ko na bagay din anamn, so ayos lang din. instead, focus sa magagandang nangyari.

lahat naman ng nangyayari sa buhay ng tao ay maganda. depende lang siguro sa tao kung ano ang kanyang interpretasyon niya rito. maaaring pangit siya sa simula pero sa kalaaunan ay makikita mo ang kagandahan nito. binigay talaga ni God sa'yo yan kasi may dahilan. laging may dahilang ang Diyos sa mga nangyayari sa buhay mo.

so. kanina nagbonding ang pamilya ko sa mediartrix. iyong tingin ko ay malapit sa akin. iyong hindi intimidating ang dating sa akin. kasama ko si nay lei, dad alex, inah, kapatid jess at chino. basta sobrang namiss ko sila! ngayon ko na lang naman kasi sila nakabonding eh. tapos ang sweet ni dad alex kasi naalala niya ako. naalala niya iyong membership card ko kasi magkikita nga kami. ang sweet talaga! haha. tapos si dad ay parang si ivan. sa pag-uugali at sa paraan ng pananalita. wala lang. si nay lei, basta siya ang pinakanakakamiss na tao sa org. :)

kahit na pagod na ako at inaantok. gumawa pa rin ako ng blog entry especially for them. i love them so much!

petiks mode

bukas wala kaming biostat, so ibig sabihin ay 4 hours break kami. at napakaraming oras nun. sobrang dami. may panghihinayang pa rin akong nararamdaman kasi sayang naman tuition fee na ibinayad ng aking pinakamamahal na ina. although ang good part lang nito ay may 4 hours kami para magliwaliw, tumambay, mag-usap, kumain, pwede rin matulog o kaya ay manuod.

tingin ko mas napapalapit na ako lalo sa pag-aaral. demshet! i'm becoming a nerd. basta parang every weekend, wala na akong ginagawa kung hindi ang maghighlight ng mga libro. ewan ko kasi basta ayoko bumagsak. gusto ko kasi mag-intern on time. and syempre pinakagusto ko ang grumaduate on time para maging proud naman sa akin si ina. malapit na rin iyon. 2 years na lang!

ay naalala ko lang. nakakatakot ang maging isang medtech. dapat hindi ka careless dapat lagi ka sa focus dapat nasa utak ka parati at hindi lamang ito lumilipad. kung bakit nalala ko? kasi ganito yun, habang mtlb namin ay may pumasok na mama[lalaki to] tapos kinausap si sir, may pinapapirmahan. edi kinuwento sa amin ni sir na sa isang pagkakamali, isang segundong lumipad ang utak mo sa kawalan ay nawala ang lahat ng iyong mga pangarap. may isa kasing intern natusok siya ng ginamit niyang syringe sa pasyente. that's the scariest thing that will eve happen to you no! baka may blood borne pathogens iyong pasyente. o kaya may HIV, HBV o kung ano pa man. ayun sana walang mangyari ganito sa amin. nakakatakot talaga!

at bully pa rin sa akin iyong prof namin sa clin chem, haha. at kakilala na ako ng prof namin sa hema na kapatid ako ng classmate ni ma'am nung highschool.

happy new month

it's august na! ang bilis naman. 3 exams to go tapos, 2nd sem na. :) happy birthday pala kay diana beth chua!

i'm starting to lose things na ata. ewan ko lang kung may magagawa pa ako, tingin ko meron pa kaso hindi na katulad nung dati.

okay, let's study hard! :)